Hansel and Gretel Get Baked

Plot

The film begins with an electrician (Cary Elwes) monitoring the electricity box behind an old house. Peering in through a window, he sees a huge marijuana crop. Something pulls him through the window, and we hear him give a dying scream.

We then cut to see Gretel (Quinn) and her boyfriend Ashton smoking marijuana in Gretel's room. The marjuana is a new strain called "Black Forest" and is being produced by a little old lady living in Pasadena. When Gretel's older brother Hansel (Welch) comes home, he tantalizes the stoned pair with a box of gingerbread cookie mix. Gretel agrees to bake the cookies while Ashton goes off to buy more Black Forest from the old lady.

Ashton is invited into the old lady's house. The lady's name is Agnes (Boyle) and she is a witch. Ashton is drugged and awakens on an operating table guarded by Agnes's demonic dog. Meanwhile, Agnes coats his body in butter before eating parts of his body and eventually sucking out his youth (which restores her youth in turn). Eventually, Hansel and Gretel begin searching for Ashton, but they are ridiculed by the police and the trail ends with Agnes. The siblings interrogate Agnes, but she reveals nothing.

Meanwhile, local drug kingpin (Carlos Reynaldo Gallegos) intimidates Agnes' dealer Manny (Eddy Martin) into giving him the address of the house. Manny finds Agnes first to warn her that Carlos is coming, but she just laughs and kills Manny and steals his youth. When Carlos and his two thugs arrive, she easily dispatches Carlos and one of the thugs, while trapping the surviving henchman in a cage. It is also revealed that she can turn her victims into zombies to help in her attacks. Meanwhile, Gretel and Manny's girlfriend Bianca (Bianca Saad) join forces to infiltrate Agnes' house. Before they leave, Gretel emails Hansel that she is going to confront Agnes again.

While Bianca distracts Agnes through various means, Gretel sneaks into the basement where she finds the Black Forest crop, the remaining henchman, and the remains of the men Agnes has killed. Gretel leaves a trail of Skittles to help her find her way through the Black Forest. Eventually, Agnes sees through the ruse and the two girls are captured (and Agnes kills the henchman in front of them). Hansel shows up and is confronted by Carlos (now a zombie) after discovering Agnes is a witch. Agnes also shoots two cops who show up to investigate the disappearance of all the teens (but it is later revealed they survived due to wearing bullet proof vests). Although Hansel destroys the zombie, he is knocked out by Agnes and placed in the oven room for cooking preparation.

Gretel and Bianca break out of their cage and sing the demonic dog to sleep. They stop Agnes right before she cooks Hansel, but Agnes manages to kill Bianca. During the struggle, Gretel manages to push Agnes into the oven and lock her in. The oven explodes, causing the marijuana crop and house to burn down. Hansel and Gretel manage to escape.

As various first responders arrive at the scene, we see a cat strolling about the ashes. One of the first responders picks up the cat and takes it into his van with him, planning to take the feline home. We then hear the responder's howls of agony as he is slaughtered in his van. We see that Agnes (who had shape-shifted into the cat and somehow survived the oven) is now behind the wheel. She smiles at the camera as she drives away from the scene.

Cast

Producers

The end credits list Lara Flynn Boyle and Molly C. Quinn as associate producers. (The credits refer to Quinn as "Molly Quinn" for her role as Gretel and "Molly C. Quinn" as associate producer.)

Release

Hansel & Gretel Get Baked was released in select theaters and on VOD on February 19, 2013.