Bring Me the Head of Charlie Brown is an animated short directed and animated by Jim Reardon, who would later become director and storyboard consultant for The Simpsons. The cartoon was made in 1986 while he was at CalArts. It has a rough draft-like, unfinished black-and-white look to it, with no real color other than the necessary black outlines.
The Great Pumpkin puts a bounty on Charlie Brown's head, prompting the entire Peanuts cast to try to kill him. Lucy tries to get Charlie Brown to kick a bomb disguised as a football, Schroeder dumps his (full-sized, not toy) piano on Charlie Brown's head, Snoopy bites off his hand (which gushes blood), the Kite Eating Tree falls on him, and Linus strangles him with his blanket (which he had turned into a makeshift Garroting Wire).
The short film is a faux trailer for another forthcoming Peanuts television special, and parodies the aforementioned series of Peanuts specials. The "special" is said to be due for broadcast on Tuesday night at 8:00 p.m., and was sponsored by a foods company called Madison Barns, makers of ding-dongs, swinkies, pooftas and wussy cakes".
The Great Pumpkin puts a bounty on Charlie Browns head, prompting the entire Peanuts cast to try to kill him. Lucy tries to get Charlie Brown to kick a bomb disguised as a football, Schroeder dumps his (full-sized, not toy) piano on Charlie Browns head, Snoopy bites off his hand (which gushes blood), the Kite Eating Tree falls on him, and Linus strangles him with his blanket (which he had turned into a makeshift Garroting Wire).
Finally tired of running, Charlie Brown suddenly dons a mohawk and arms himself with a pump action shotgun, a submachine gun, and an M16 Assault Rifle. He then systematically kills off the entire Peanuts cast one by one. The film then goes on a strange montage in which Charlie Brown guns down everyone in his way: scores of Mexican bandidos, a Wehrmacht machine gun nest behind which Adolf Hitler is painting a picture, and Richard Simmons doing jumping jacks. This is followed by his innocent sister, Sally, being decapitated by gunfire. Following this is a montage of a small dragon breathing flame, Pig Pen vomiting profusely in Violets face, two biplanes colliding in midair, Dagwood Bumstead getting kicked in the groin by his wife, Blondie, which causes his head to pop off, resulting in another blood gush, Mickey Mouse getting hit over the head by a lead pipe, Rocky Balboa getting punched in the face by Popeye, and Godzilla squeezing Dr Pepper out of a giant soda can. It ends with Charlie Brown announcing that "Happiness is a warm uzi" in a thick Germanic accent reminiscent of Arnold Schwarzenegger and a cut to him smoking a cigarette in bed with the Little Red-Haired Girl (who, fittingly, is not fully seen), who asks Charlie Brown to turn off the bedroom light.
The song "Charlie Brown" by The Coasters plays over the ending credits (where it is incorrectly attributed to The Platters). The credits end with a note from Jim Reardon:
"The creator of this picture wishes to state that he does not in any way wish to tarnish or demean the beloved characters of Charles M. "Dutch" Schultzs comic strip, "Peanuts". No malice or damage to their goodwill was intended. So please dont sue me, because it will drag through the courts for years, and I havent got a lawyer - and besides, youve already got half the money in the world, and I havent got any. OK?"
Cast and credits
Charlie Brown - Etienne Badillo, Rich Moore, Mike Reardon, William Holden
Linus van Pelt - Ethan Kafner
Lucy van Pelt - Bret Haaland
Great Pumpkin - Jeff Pidgeon
Additional Voices - Ed Bell, Bruce Johnson, Mike Reardon, Bret Haaland
Narration - Rich Moore
"Aided and Abetted by" - Ed Bell, Dale Mcbeath, Bob Winquist, Mike Giaimo, Craig Smith, Bret Haaland, Nate Kanfer, Doug Frankel, Mike Reardon, Rich Moore, Russ Edmonds, Hal Ambro, Dan Hansen, Jim Ryan, Tony Fucile, Jeff Pidgeon, Bob McCrea, Sarge Morton, Mom, Eileen, and Beverly