Three Little Pirates

Plot

The year is 1642, and the Stooges are garbage scow sailors stranded on Dead Man's Island. At first, the governor (Vernon Dent) finds it hard to believe the three are sailors, but changes his mind once Curly starts flirting with his fiancée, Rita (Christine McIntyre). The governor throws the Stooges in jail, and sentences them to execution by burning.

Lucky for the Stooges, Rita has no interest in marrying the ruthless colonial governor and helps the boys escape by exposing some hidden tools. She then directs them to drill their way through the west wall specifically in order to escape safely. Unfortunately, the Stooges argue incessantly, choose the wrong wall, and land back in their cell.

Rita suggests the boys disguise themselves as "wayfarers from a strange land" bringing priceless gifts. Curly is the great, nearsighted Maharaja of Canarsie who has domains on the isles of Coney and Long. Moe is the Gin of Rummy, and Larry is an accomplice. Moe and Curly exchange in conversations consisting of doublespeak and gibberish and offer the governor a raspberry lollipop, which he mistakes as a ruby as large as a turkey's egg. Moe dubs it the "Ruby de Lollipopskia." Next is a fountain pen that the governor mistakes as a tusk from a black walrus. The governor is delighted with these gifts, and requests that the Maharaja bring him some fair damsels. The Stooges escape quickly, not wasting a moment. However, the governor's secretary (Dorothy DeHaven) reveals the Stooges' true identities, and the governor is livid. Once he learns they are headed to the cutthroat pirate Black Louie's, however, he enlists the scoundrel's help to kill the escaped sailor Stooges.

The Stooges meet Black Louie (Robert Kellard) at a saloon, and engage in a game of target practice. They enlist a reluctant Larry as the live target, and begin the knife-throwing. In the interim, Rita quietly makes her presence known to the boys, and alerts them of the governor's plan. They realize they must flee, but Curly's awkward knife throwing (thanks to his glasses containing lenses as thick as soda bottles) puts Black Louie on the defense. The fight breaks out in the saloon, with the Stooges winning out. Moe attempts to declare himself the new ruler of the island but is bopped insensate by a mallet attached to a pinball game, allowing the others to haul him away without protest.

Quotes