Stewardess School

Plot

Philo and George are about to land a plane, only for Philo to accidentally knock out his contact lenses and Philo cannot see the controls, causing the plane to malfunction and crash into a skyscraper. The destruction is then revealed to be a simulator and the duo was taking an exam in pilot school, causing the two to be attrited for unsatisfactory performance. Unemployed and out of options, the duo enrolls in Weidermeyer Academy, one of the top stewardess schools in the country. George and Philo get put in a group full of misfits, to include a lady wrestler whose fiancee got cold feet, a frumpy overweight girl, a nymphomaniac whose probation officer arranged for her to enroll in Weidermeyer as part of a work release program, and a woman with astigmatism who recently got fired from an orchestra (believing she is doomed to fail). The group has standard classes about emergencies, etiquette and antiterrorism, which they work through. Also as part of a test is a full-size replica of an airplane with people to wait on, and some difficult people are selected such as a surly ex-NFL player who refuses George's orders not to smoke. The group starts to gel together, with George learning to start applying himself to a career and Philo finding common ground with the "jinx girl" due to his similar eye problems.

However, by happenstance, the group gains the ire of the school dean, a matronly martinet who believes all stewardesses to be attractive "flying waitresses", not tough, nerdy, chubby, promiscuous, and certainly not stewards like George and Philo. As she fails to wash them out, she resorts to her secondary plan as she is responsible for jobs. When everyone graduates, stewardesses are given jobs with reputable airlines such as Delta, Pan Am, or TWA, and the entire group has been detailed to Stromboli Air. The group is introduced to their owner, Mr. Stromboli, a kindly immigrant whose airline is on the verge of Chapter 11 unless his final flight can prove reputable. The group agrees to work together to make it a profitable flight. Still not content, the school dean has gotten herself assigned to be purser, saying she will oversee them and if Stromboli goes bankrupt, they are doomed to unemployment. The flight is a mixture of ordinary businessmen and a blind people's convention, which starts to run into trouble when an unexpected rain squall hits and a "mad bomber" (in an ironic sense) calmly and quietly sets his plan into motion, drugging the drink of the man sitting next to him with a powerful hallucinogenic, then taking advantage of the turmoil to sneak a gas pellet into the captain's cabin to knock out the pilot, then to the cargo hold to place his bomb, then jumping out into the sky.

Cast