I Hate Myself and Want to Die

Updated on Dec 18, 2024

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Format CD Genre Grunge		A-side "Pennyroyal Tea" Length 2:42
Released November 23, 1993 (1993-11-23) (The Beavis and Butt-head Experience)April 1994 (single) Recorded February 1993, at Pachyderm Studios, Cannon Falls, Minnesota

"I Hate Myself and Want to Die" is a song by the American rock band Nirvana, written by Kurt Cobain and recorded in February 1993.

History and recording

Cobain originally intended to call the band's third studio album I Hate Myself and I Want to Die, but changed his mind, according to Tom Mallon of Rolling Stone, due to fear that the dark humor of the title would be lost on some critics and fans, and after being convinced by Nirvana bassist Krist Novoselic that the band might end up with lawsuits if Cobain stuck with the original title; Cobain changed the title to Verse Chorus Verse, then, two weeks later, to its final name, In Utero.

In January 1993, Nirvana recorded a demo of the song, produced by Craig Montgomery at BMG Ariola Ltda in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil; the band recorded a final version of the song with producer Steve Albini during the In Utero recording sessions at Pachyderm Studios in February 1993. On tape boxes, a fish symbol represented the song.

Cobain did not include the song on In Utero, as, according to Cobain, there were too many "noise" songs on the album. Geffen Records, the record label to which Nirvana signed, gave the band US$60,000 for the song, and included the song on its The Beavis and Butt-head Experience compilation album, released on November 23, 1993. It is possible that the commercial single of "Pennyroyal Tea" was withdrawn after Kurt Cobain's death because "I Hate Myself and Want To Die" was the B-side, and it would seem like the record label was profiting from his death. The "Pennyroyal Tea" single was however re-released in April 2014 as part of Record Store Day.

Reception

In Take a Walk on the Dark Side: Rock and Roll Myths, Legends, and Curses, R. Gary Patterson compared the song to John Lennon's "Yer Blues" as "an attempt to explain [Cobain's] introspection." In The Rough Guide to Nirvana, music journalist Gillian G. Gaar called the song an "upbeat, friendly thrash-along" with "nonsense lyrics" whose title lacked a connection with its music. Rolling Stone writers ranked the song at number 44 on a ranked list of 102 Nirvana songs.

Cobain, in an October 1993 interview with Rolling Stone writer David Fricke, stated he meant the song "[as literally] as a joke can be" and called the song's title "funny", as he stated he was "thought of as this pissy, complaining, freaked–out schizophrenic who wants to kill himself all the time."

Covers

The Blackout released a parody of the song, titled "I Love Myself and I Want to Live," in 2009. Baton Rouge sludge band Thou released a cover of this song on their EP "The Sacrifice".