| Haim Ginott|
| Haim G. Ginzburg|
Between Parent and Child
1973, New York City, New York, United States
Between parent and child, Teacher and child, Between Parent and Teenager, Group psychotherapy with child, Ginott/Between Parent and Child/Bet
Haim Ginott Wikipedia
Haim G. Ginott (originally Ginzburg; 5 August 1922 – 4 November 1973) was a school teacher, a child psychologist and psychotherapist and a parent educator. He pioneered techniques for conversing with children that are still taught today. His book, Between Parent and Child, stayed on the best seller list for over a year and is still popular today. This book sets out to give "specific advice derived from basic communication principles that will guide parents in living with children in mutual respect and dignity."
Ginott's career began as an Elementary School teacher in Israel in 1947. After emigrating to the United States he studied psychology at Columbia University, where he earned a doctorate in clinical psychology in 1952.
The following serve to illustrate Dr. Ginott's communications approach:
Never deny or ignore a child's feelings.
Only behavior is treated as unacceptable, not the child.
Depersonalize negative interactions by mentioning only the problem. "I see a messy room."
Attach rules to things, e.g., "Little sisters are not for hitting."
Dependence breeds hostility. Let children do for themselves what they can.
Children need to learn to choose, but within the safety of limits. "Would you like to wear this blue shirt or this red one?"
Limit criticism to a specific event—don't say "never", "always", as in: "You never listen," "You always manage to spill things", etc.
Refrain from using words that you would not want the child to repeat.
Ignore irrelevant behavior
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish were members of a parenting group run by Dr. Ginott, and state in an introduction that Dr. Ginott's classes were the inspiration for the books they wrote."Rebellion follows rejection."
"Truth for its own sake can be a deadly weapon in family relations. Truth without compassion can destroy love. Some parents try too hard to prove exactly how, where and why they have been right. This approach will bring bitterness and disappointment. When attitudes are hostile, facts are unconvincing." (p. 38)
"If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others."