God Hates Astronauts

Publication history

Writer/artist Ryan Browne created God Hates Astronauts as a 24-hour comic in 2007. In 2010 Browne relaunched it as a free webcomic and, for the next three years, he updated it sporadically. Via Kickstarter Browne collected all three issues comprising the first story arc, "The Head That Wouldn't Die!", along with the original 24-hour comic, and pinups and backup features drawn by other comic book artists, in a hardcover trade edition. After the success of the Kickstarter campaign, Image Comics republished the book as a trade paperback. In September 2014, Image Comics relaunched God Hates Astronauts as a continuing monthly series, beginning with the second story arc, "A Star Is Born".

Plot

The first story arc, "The Head That Wouldn't Die!", introduces the Power Persons Five (PP5), and their nemeses John L. Sullivan and King Tiger Eating a Cheeseburger. In order to prevent astronauts from launching homemade rockets into space, NASA, under the directorship of Sir Hippothesis (a human-hippopotamus hybrid), has established the superhero group the Power Persons Five: led by Dr. Professor, a humanoid rhinoceros, with team members Star Fighter, his wife Starrior, The Impossible, The Anti-Mugger, and Craymok. Sometimes they save the world. In a fight against John L. Sullivan, who plans to conquer the world with an army of fighting bears, Star Fighter's head is permanently disfigured, and Sullivan is killed by The Impossible. The damage to Star Fighter's head strains his and Starrior's marriage, so they attend group couples-counseling with Montel. There, Starrior meets and later begins an affair with Texas Tom, a cowboy haunted by the ghostly cow head Blue Grass. At a seedy motel, Blue Grass and Star Fighter confront Starrior and Texas Tom. Tom shoots Star Fighter's disfigured head, which bursts, leaking gore. Later, Star Fighter cuts off the remains of his head and replaces it with Blue Grass, transforming into Star Grass, the cosmic ghost. Meanwhile, the fighting bears use magic to resurrect John L. Sullivan as a sentient zombie, and Sullivan attacks and wrests control of PP5 Headquarters. Starrior enlists Texas Tom's help to save her teammates. They recruit Gnarled Winslow (an ex-Chicago cop), Reed Spacer, and Crazy Train to aid in the attack. Star Grass returns to Headquarters and kills Sullivan with a single nuclear punch. Then Star Grass gives the bears star rings and drafts them into NASA to get revenge on Starrior. When Starrior, Texas Tom, Crazy Train, Gnarled Winslow, and Reed Spacer show up, Star Grass and his star bears fight them. Crazy Train accidentally kills herself. The battle is interrupted by an irate Sir Hippothesis. In the aftermath, The Anti-Mugger (irradiated by Star Grass) quits the PP5, Sir Hippothesis fires Star Grass, and Star Grass sues NASA. In a recess from the ensuing trial, it is revealed that The Anti-Mugger has a new, mutated third arm, and Starrior is pregnant with Star Grass' daughter. Everyone is attacked by John L. Sullivan, whose mustache survived the explosion and transformed an astronaut into Super Sullivan, a giant monster with wings and a unicorn horn. After Star Grass saves Starrior from Super Sullivan and Gnarled Winslow destroys Sullivan and his mustache, the married couple reconciles, Sir Hippothesis makes Star Grass PP5 team leader, and Star Grass fires Dr. Professor and hires Gnarled Winslow. During all of this, astronaut farmers have been launching into space unchecked. One of their ships collides with that of Admiral Tiger Eating a Cheeseburger, only son of King Tiger Eating a Cheeseburger, absolute ruler of Planet Crabulon. The King is told of his son's death.

The second arc, "A Star is Born", picks up two years later. The remaining members of the PP5—Star Grass, Gnarled Winslow, Starrior, and The Impossible—are suppressing the astronaut farmers. Star Grass and Starrior are raising Starlina, their super-powered infant daughter. Gnarled Winslow is haunted by the ghost of Crazy Train, his former lover. The Impossible becomes lost in space. Craymok, The Anti-Mugger, and Dr. Professor live together in a small apartment. The Anti-Mugger's third arm has become sentient and started mugging people, but he does not know it. Dr. Professor has become a conspiracy nut. King Tiger Eating a Cheeseburger begins his attack on Earth, to avenge his son. Backstory is revealed in flashbacks for NASA, Sir Hippothesis, Dr. Professor, and Planet Crabulon. The Anti-Mugger is arrested for mugging Dr. Professor. During a seance, Gnarled Winslow and Texas Tom are physically fused together and transported to the spirit world. The Impossible is rescued by the New Gentendians, a race of aliens who have also rescued Admiral Tiger Eating a Cheeseburger. As King Tiger Eating a Cheeseburger's forces finally reach Earth, Starlina, on a sugar high, loses control of her powers and kills Star Grass. The New Gentendians detect the blast of Starlina's powers.

Power Persons Five

Other NASA employees

Residents of Planet Crabulon

Others

Regular features

Issues 2–5 of the Image Comics run contain fake one-page advertisements titled "Goofin' With Gnarled", art by Brad Mcginty and Jordan Boyd. Issues 2–5 each conclude with a two page chapter of "Imposiclypse Now", art by Alejandro Bruzzese.

The first trade edition—which collects the three webcomic issues—includes 18 two-page origin stories, each written by Ryan Browne and drawn by a different guest artist:

Critical reception

The Image series holds an average score of 8.3 out of 10 at the review aggregator website Comic Book Roundup.

Beer Hates Astronauts

On August 30, 2013 Half Acre Beer Company in Chicago released Beer Hates Astronauts, an IPA brewed with Citra hops and Vienna malt, with a label designed by Ryan Browne. Beer Hates Astronauts has been very well received, currently holding a 98 rating on review aggregator sites Beeradvocate and ratebeer.