The Ben Maller Show

Insta-Advice Line

Once a week during Monday mornings around 4:30 AM EST, the show does live and unscreened radio under the guise of "giving advice" of a person related to current sports news. Due to the possibility of FCC violations and coarse language from callers, this segment is broadcast on a 40-second delay.

Much to Maller's dismay, the segment is frequently hijacked by listeners who attempt to annoy Maller with long-running gags and jokes. Some of these consistent jokes include "Play the Tomm Looney jingle," "Never heard of him, Ben," and "pokey, pokey, pokey." Since about 2009, this segment has been hijacked numerous times by a caller who starts to read John 3:16 in a deep voice. Maller frequently jokes that he wonders who the man is and how he finds a way to get through during every episode. Also, Windsor, Ont. caller "The Handsome Hoarder" (formerly "Cowboy John-Brad") calls, usually twice, to advise said sports person (if he's male, as is almost always the case),that his problem will be solved if he manages to meet and pair with the HH's favourite sort of woman, a buxom blonde between 22 and 40.(The HH was born July 6, 1953; thus he's 62, though as his re-branded appellation suggests, he's regarded poster boy handsome),and to advocate the induction of his Detroit Tigers heroes, shortstop/former Tigers Manager Alan Trammell, second baseman "Sweet" Lou Whitaker, right-handed pitcher Jack Morris and catcher Lance "Big Wheel" Parrish into Major League Baseball's Hall Of Fame in Cooperstown, N.Y.,where the HH's cousin, Ferguson Jenkins, is enshrined, so far the sole Canadian lad to have received the honour.

Maller to the Third Degree

This nightly segment features producer Justin Cooper "grilling" Maller with a series of difficult questions regarding sports. At the end of the segment Cooper declares Maller either a "winner" or a "loser" depending on his opinion of how Maller performed by answering the aforementioned questions.

Pick Em

Once per night, all members of the show participate in a mock draft where they select players from a single sport in order to compete for bragging rights. Much like a real sports draft, the draft works in reverse order of the previous night's results which has the loser obtaining the first pick. A running total is kept on Maller's Facebook page.

Danny G. Tinderoni Tips

Once per week, technical producer Danny G.Radio has his own segment in which he gives love advice. Danny is the only remaining member of the crew that is single and is allegedly very successful with the ladies using Tinder. His reports are surprisingly sincere and thoughtful.

Puck The World Report

Once per week, update anchor and hockey fan Eddie Garcia gives brief hockey news and his viewpoints regarding the current events. This is important because the format of the show does not usually lend itself to discussing hockey, hence why they include it.

The Handsome Hoarder's Hallway

To conclude each edition of the show, caller "The Handsome Hoarder"(formerly "Cowboy John-Brad") of Windsor, Ontario had his own humorous segment where he briefly and quickly (and at times borderline incoherently) touched upon celebrity deaths and other events in sports while fast-paced cartoon music is playing in the background. It was also common for odd and humorous sound clips from the archives of Fox Sports Radio to make an appearance during this segment. Also called "The Canadian Clutter Stud" because of his nationality, hoarding issues and poster boy good looks, at age 62-HH is attempting to monetize his new brand by starting a men's clothing line, or perhaps partnering with some established men's clothiers, creating his own fragrance, perhaps launching a beer or ale, and, of course, HH would like a Reality TV show where his audience turns him into a true stud with an appropriate wardrobe which highlights his muscular, though beefy build-HH is 5'9",200 lb. or thereabouts, boasting 18-inch arms, though he is attempting to lose about 20 lb.-and telegenic profile.