| Season 3
| Pete Michels|
November 29, 2001
| Dave Collard and Ken Goin|
"Screwed the Pooch" is the 41st episode of Family Guy. The episode first aired on November 29, 2001 in the United States, and follows the Griffins on their visit to the house of Lois' parents', the Pewterschmidts. During the visit, Brian has sex with the Pewterschmidts' dog Seabreeze and when she becomes pregnant, Carter Pewterschmidt refuses to allow Brian to see her again. Brian then decides to sue Carter for custody of the puppies. Bob Barker, formerly the host of The Price is Right, has a cameo in the episode as himself.
The episode was written by Dave Collard and Ken Goin, and was directed by Pete Michels. The title is a reference to the eponymous idiom.
Screwed the Pooch Wikipedia
The Griffin family plans to visit Lois' wealthy parents, much to Peter's chagrin, as his father-in-law Carter Pewterschmidt intensely dislikes him. Meanwhile, Brian's sex drive seems unusually strong lately, causing him to feel stressed out, especially after sniffing the rear-end of an attractive female dog at a local park. Peter and Lois are oblivious to Brian's state until they walk in on him masturbating in the bathroom. Lois insists it is perfectly natural, and suggests Brian take time off and accompany the family on their road trip. Though he initially declines, Brian joins the Griffins after he learns that if he stays home, a show entitled "World's Sluttiest Dogs" will play.
After arriving, Brian is introduced to Carter's female greyhound, Seabreeze, who Brian finds attractive. Peter joins an annoyed Carter in a poker match, and helps him win CNN from Ted Turner, thus earning the respect of his father-in-law (though reluctantly, after Lois threatened to show Babs his son after he had an affair with a black woman). Later, Carter and Peter, along with Carter's other poker buddies, Michael Eisner and Bill Gates, go out smashing mailboxes to have some "extra fun." At a fun evening's end, Carter proudly tells his wealthy friends Peter is "...my son-in-law" and confesses he is glad Peter married Lois.
Not long after, the cordiality between Peter and Carter is ruined when during a greyhound race involving Seabreeze, Brian suddenly lets his sex drive get the better of him and leaps onto the racetrack, runs to Seabreeze and engages her in sexual intercourse, causing her to lose. Seabreeze then ends up pregnant, and Brian is immediately blamed. Scolding that his relationship with Carter is ruined because of that, Peter swears to never speak with Brian again and goes to incredible lengths to ignore him, such as enclosing himself in a massive plastic cage. Determining to take responsibility, Brian offers to raise the puppies himself, but Carter disapproves, so Brian elopes with Seabreeze and they run away in hopes of raising the puppies together.
With help from Eisner and Gates, Seabreeze and Brian are tracked down to a motel in which they were hiding. After the custody case soon after goes to court, Carter and his lawyers bring up sordid details of Brian's past and personality to destroy his chances of gaining custody, even going as far as to accuse him of using other people as scapegoats for triggering the aforementioned incidents. Just as it appears that Brian may lose, Peter lets go of his resentment towards him and insists that Brian would be a good father, and he proves it by having Brian demonstrate his extensive knowledge of the Griffin children. The judge is convinced that Brian would make a good father, and grants him custody of the puppies, but only as long as Brian agrees to get neutered to prevent a similar incident and to set a good example for his puppies, which Brian reluctantly agrees to do.
But just as Brian is about to go under the knife, he and the Griffins discover that Brian is not actually the father of Seabreeze's puppies; the puppies actually resemble Ted Turner, the true father (Turner presumably impregnated Seabreeze out of revenge after losing CNN in the poker game from earlier in the episode). Furious and mortified, Carter calls Seabreeze a whore and forsakes her right on the spot. Since Brian is obviously not the puppies' father, he opts out of getting neutered but admits to Peter and Lois that he was actually looking forward to being a dad. The episode ends with the three going home, during which Peter admits that he thought dogs laid eggs.