Not Gay

Themes

Ward discusses hazing traditions, such as the "elephant walk" (in which each man has one hand on the penis of the man behind him and the other hand inserted into the anus of the man in front) and the circle jerk as examples of sexual contact between heterosexual men. She also discusses male-male sexual activities in prisons and the military. The book features excerpts from Craigslist personal ads, and discusses a number of reasons why straight men might seek out sex with other men, such as fear of being rejected by women, or finding women's bodies gross.

The term "bro-job" (analogous to bromance and a play on blowjob) refers to a sexual encounter between two straight men who are often close friends. Ward expresses the view that "bro-jobs" are not an indication that a man is actually gay, but rather a means for straight men to explore their own sexual identity. Despite having been credited with coining the term bro-job, Ward clarified:

"I do describe in the book what could arguably be called bro-jobs, but I never once use that word. ...It's sort of like a game of telephone, four blogs down the line I'm reading stuff that says 'Jane Ward has written an entire book about bro-jobs.' I just had to laugh."

Awards

Not Gay was a 2016 Lambda Literary Award finalist.