Nair ceremonies and customs

Sambandham (an earlier form of marriage) and related customs

In the past Nairs had three major marriage/rite of passage ceremonies.

Sambandham/Podamuri/Pudava Koda/Mundukoda (casual marriage alliance)

The Sambandham ritual is less auspicious than the thaali and puberty rites, and literally means "alliance" or "relationship". It was the customary institution that framed casual marriage alliances between men and women following marumakkathayam. This ritual marks the union of the bride and groom and was not necessarily a permanent arrangement. However it was this innate weakness of sambandham that helped maintaining the integrity of the matrilineal tharavadu.

Sambandham denoted hypergamy between Nair women and Namboothiri men.The veli system was beneficial to the matriarchal upper castes as also to the patriarchal Namboodiri and other Brahmin castes of Kerala. Among the Namboodiris only the eldest son was permitted to marry with a view to maintain the integrity of ancestral property. The remaining males contracted Sambandhams with Kshatriya Princesses, Nair ladies. Since the offspring of these alliances were, as per Marumakkathayam, members of their mothers castes and families, the Namboodiri father would not be obliged to provide for them. For the matriarchal castes in turn Sambandhams with Brahmins were a matter of prestige and social status. Thus Sambandham was in both ways a gain to the castes involved. Namboodiri-Kshatriya and Namboodiri-Nair Sambandhams may also be considered morganatic marriages for while the husband was of higher social status and the mother of relatively lower status, the children were still considered legitimate although they did not inherit the titles or wealth of their fathers. Nair women possessed one or more husbands from Nair clan and Namboodiri caste simultaneously.

In case of sambandham with Namboothiri men, the system benefited both the Namboothiri Brahmins as well as matrilineal castes like the Nairs for two reasons. First, Namboothiri Brahmins had institutionalized primogeniture, permitting only the eldest son to marry within the caste. Younger sons (also called aphans) in Namboothiri families were expected to establish sambandham with Nair and Ambalavasi (temple service castes) women. Secondly, Nair families encouraged the sambandham arrangement with Namboothiri men, thereby increasing their tharavadu and caste status.

Thirandukalyanam (announcement and celebration of puberty)

The Thirandukalyanam ceremony was the puberty ceremony, during which femininity is celebrated as women occupy the parts of the household typically inhabited by men.