8.6 /10 1 Votes
4/5 Barnes & Noble Publisher Integrity Publishers ISBN 978-1-59145-187-7 Country United States of America | 4.2/5 Goodreads Publication date 2004 Originally published 2004 Original language English | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Subject Self-help, marriage, love, respect Similar Emerson Eggerichs books, Practical theology books | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs was written in 2004 by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. The book suggests a direct connection between the emotional needs of men and women and a verse of scripture found in the Bible, that when adhered to, can strengthen and transform relationships.
Contents
Ephesians 5:33 "Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
Dr. Eggerichs founded the nonprofit organization Love and Respect Ministries in 1999 and held Love and Respect Marriage Conferences throughout the U.S. along with his wife Sarah. By 2003 Dr. Eggerichs had become a requested speaker on the Christian radio broadcast Focus on the Family that at that time was hosted by psychologist James Dobson. The book was then produced with the assistance of Focus on the Family and went on to make several top 10 book lists and won several book awards including the 2007 Book of the Year for the Family Christian Stores. Other awards include the Gold Medallion Award in 2005 and the Retailers Choice Awards. Dr. Eggerichs wrote a second follow-up to Love & Respect in 2009 titled The Language of Love & Respect: Cracking the Communication Code with Your Mate In 2010, Love and Respect for a Lifetime, a gift book for husbands and wives, was released.
Summary
The book is built upon the theory that the "primary emotional needs" for men and women, respectively are that men need respect and women need love, like they need air to breathe. Dr. Eggerichs uses simple examples to illustrate real life situations in relationships and then often connects those situations to the verse in Ephesians and other passages in the Bible. The book is organized into three main sections.
The Crazy Cycle first illustrates that "Without love, she reacts without respect and without respect, he reacts without love". Misunderstandings in communication is expressed using simple metaphors to illustrate that men often use blue sunglasses and women often use pink sunglasses during communication. Practical strategies are then discussed to stop the Crazy Cycle from spinning, including the use of scientific findings by John Gottman.
The Energizing Cycle next outlines strategies for improving a relationship by showing that "his love motivates her respect and her respect motivates his love", using two acronyms C-O-U-P-L-E (Closeness, Openness, Understanding, Peacemaking, Loyalty, and Esteem) and C-H-A-I-R-S (Conquest, Hierarchy, Authority, Insight, Relationship, and Sexuality).
The Rewarded Cycle lastly is demonstrated by example using Scripture that "His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love". Connecting obedience to Christ in the correlation to a greater outcome in the relationship is suggested.
Translations
(This list is most probably incomplete.)