Hindu wedding

Eight types of marriage

Ancient Hindu literature, such as Asvalayana Grhyasutra and Atharvaveda, identify eight forms of marriages. These are:

The above four types of marriages were considered prashasta marriages (proper, religiously appropriate under Hinduism), since they contains vows from Vedic scriptures, where both bride and groom commit to each other and share responsibilities to their families. The other four were considered aprashasta (inappropriate), since they do not follow any Vedic rituals and vows. Among inappropriate weddings, two acceptable forms of marriages were:

The last two marriages were not only inappropriate, but religiously forbidden (the children, if any, from these forbidden types of consummation were considered legitimate, nevertheless):

James Lochtefeld finds that the last two forms of marriage were forbidden yet recognized in ancient Hindu societies, not to encourage these acts, but to provide the woman and any children with legal protection in the society.

Main rituals

There is no single standard Hindu marriage ceremony. Regional variations and considerable flexibility in the rituals are prevalent. The variations may be based on family traditions, local traditions, resources of the marrying families, and other factors. Some of the key rituals are performed in slightly different ways in different regions.

There are a few key rituals common in a Hindu wedding ceremony. These are

Kanyadaan

The Kanyadaan ceremony is performed by the father. If the father has died, a guardian of bride's choosing performs this ritual. The father brings the daughter, then takes the bride's hand and places it to the groom's. This marks the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride. The groom accepts the bride's hand, while the kama-sukta (hymn to love) is pronounced, in the presence of the father, the bride and the groom. The Kamasukta verse is:

After this ritual recital, the father asks the groom to not fail the girl in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth) and kama (love). The groom promises to the bride's father that he shall never fail her in his pursuit of dharma, artha and kama. The groom repeats the promise three times.

The groom's promises to bride's father marks the end of the kanyadaan ritual in Hindu wedding.

Panigrahana

The ritual of Panigrahana comes after Kanyadana. Sometimes, this ritual is preceded by vivaha-homa rite, wherein a symbolic fire is lit by the groom to mark the start of a new household.

Panigrahana is the 'holding the hand' ritual as a symbol of their impending marital union, and the groom announcing his acceptance of responsibility to four deities: Bhaga signifying wealth, Aryama signifying heavens/milky way, Savita signifying radiance/new beginning, and Purandhi signifying wisdom. The groom faces west, while the bride sits in front of him with her face to the east, he holds her hand while the following Rg vedic mantra is recited:

In Gujarati Wedding this step is called "Hast-Milap" (literally, meeting of hands). The whole ceremony was timed around an auspicious time ("Mauhurat") for this step and few decades ago, the wedding invitation would even list the time when this event was going to take place.

Saptapadi – Short Form

The Saptapadi (Sanskrit for seven steps/feet), is the most important ritual of Vedic Hindu weddings, and represents the legal part of Hindu marriage. Sometimes called Saat Phere (seven rounds), couple conduct seven circuits of the Holy Fire (Agni), which is considered a witness to the vows they make to each other. In some regions, a piece of clothing or sashes worn by the bride and groom are tied together for this ceremony. Elsewhere, the groom holds the bride's right hand in his own right hand. Each circuit of the consecrated fire is led by either the bride or the groom, varying by community and region. Usually, the bride leads the groom in the first circuit. In North India, the first six circuits are led by the bride, and the final one by the groom. In Central India and Suriname, the bride leads the first three or four circuits. With each circuit, the couple makes a specific vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.

In some South Indian weddings, after each saying a mantra at each of the seven steps, the couple say these words together:

In North Indian weddings, the bride and the groom say the following words after completing the seven steps:

Saptapadi – Long Form

The long form of the key Hindu wedding ritual, Saptapadi, starts with preface announced by the priest, and thereafter followed by a series of vows the groom and bride make to each other. They are as follows:

After the seventh step, the two become husband and wife.

Additional rituals

Many Hindu weddings start with the Milne (meeting) and Swagatam (welcome) ceremony. This ritual is where the Baraat (groom's procession party) arrives at the bride's home or the location where the bride is and marriage will be celebrated. The Baraat typically includes dancing and joyous members of groom's family, relatives and friends. On their arrival, there is a ritual where key persons from the groom's side and bride's side are introduced to each other. The introduction is typically followed by Jai mala (garland exchange between bride and groom) and a reception that serves food and drinks.

Many other rituals and ceremonies are sometimes found in Hindu weddings, such as madhuparka, vivaha-homa, agni-parinayana, asmarohana, laja homa, abhishek, anna-prashashan, and aashir-vadah. All these ceremonies are done at the wedding location, typically at or near the bride's home. These additional rituals include the participation of the brothers, or sisters, or maternal/paternal relatives, guardians or friends of the bride.

In some parts of India, such as Gujarat and northern India, a laja homa ritual called mangal pherā is performed where the couple make four circles around holy fire. It follows hasta milap (meeting of hands of the couple), but precedes Saptpadi. The first three circles is led by the groom, and it represents three of four goals of life considered important in Hindu life – Dharma, Artha, Kama. The fourth circle is led by bride and it represents the fourth goal of life – Moksha. After Saptapadi, as hymns are being recited, the groom performs māņg sindoor ritual where a saffron or red color powder is marked into the parting of the wife's hair. Instead of circling the fire and other steps, the rituals and ceremonies may be performed symbolically, such as stepping on small heaps of rice or throwing grains into the fire.

Some rituals involve rice or other grains, seeds and pastes. In these ceremonies, rice is thrown at the bride, groom or they kick a container containing the grain. Rituals include darshan, where the newly married couple are met, blessed and greeted by family and friends of the bride and groom.

After the wedding is complete, the bride leaves for groom's home, where Hindu family members of the groom welcome the newly wedded couple in a ritual known as Grihapravesa (home coming/entry). This ceremony typically requires participation of the mother, father, brothers, and sisters, or other guardians of the groom.

Ancient literature suggests the Hindu couple spent time with each other, but delayed the consummation for at least three nights following the wedding. This rite, known as chaturthikarma – literally, "the rite performed on the fourth day of marriage" – has been claimed by some scholars. Chaturthikarma is followed by most of South Indian communities. as a possible basis for the validity of a marriage. Other scholars suggest Saptapadi and regionally customary wedding rituals, not consummation, defines legal validity of a Hindu marriage. The Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, Article 7, is consistent with the latter. Chaturthikarma is not a common practice in Hindu communities.

In modern Hindu families, the couple proceed to honeymoon after Grihapravesa.

Rituals in Nepal

In the Hindu culture of Nepal, marriage rituals are done by the Chhetri in a sixteen step process that centers on the household. The household is important during the marriage ritual because it is the center of the concept of mandala; the Chhetri's homes are considered to be domestic mandalas and so have roles as householders. The act of marriage brings men and women into the householder role. Marriage is the most important rite of passage for the Chhetris and is one of the most serious. Women move from their houses to the home of the groom after marriage. The ceremony is done in a precise and careful manner as to not bring bad luck to the families of the bride and groom; certain traditions, for example no one seeing the face of the bride until the end, are followed in order to ensure future prosperity. Prior to the marriage ceremony, there is no kinship between families of the bride and groom and the bride must be a virgin. The marriage ceremony consists of a series of rites that are performed over a two-day period between the houses of the bride and the groom. Within each home the enclosed area in the courtyard (jagya) and the kitchen are used the most; the jagya and the kitchen are considered the most important parts of the domestic mandala structure because it is where rice (an important part of the Chhetri's culture) is prepared and consumed. At the end of the ceremony is the establishment of the role of the wife and husband in the husband's home.

The first step in the marriage ceremony is called Purbanga. In the kitchen of their homes, the bride and the groom worship the seven Mother Goddesses as so to pay respect to their ancestors and ask for peace. In the second, third, and fourth step, the groom is then blessed by his mother and is taken outside to his jagya where his father and procession (janti) carry him and bring gifts for the bride to her house in a ceremony called dulähä anmäune. In the fifth step as the groom waits before the house of the bride, gifts of clothes and food are placed around the jagya; the father of the bride then places red paste on the groom's forehead indicating that he is no longer an outsider to his family. The sixth step is the performance of the Barani or welcoming for the groom and his janti as they enter the jagya. The father purifies the body of the groom using panchämrit (nectar from five pure liquids). A small feast is then held for the groom as the next steps in the marriage continue.

After the small feast, the marriage process for the bride begins. The seventh step takes place in the kitchen of the bride where the process of kanya dan starts; the bride's parents give their daughter in marriage to her groom thereby allowing the bride to be a part of the groom's lineage and making the father's lineage secondary. After they wash their feet they dress in red and, in the eighth step, sit beside in each other in the jagya. They perform post-marriage rites as they make sacrificial offerings to the fire in the center of the jagya. During these rites the bride and groom perform tasks such as placing red powder in the hair of the bride and the bride eats leftover food of the groom and at the end the now husband gives his wife a personal name for which she is to be called by.

After the post-marriage ceremony, the married couple being to leave the bride's home. In the ninth step, the husband and wife return to the kitchen of the wife and worship their ancestors and the seven Mother Goddesses. In the tenth, eleventh, and twelfth step, the couple leave the wife's house as she is given a garland from her parents; the wife and husband enter the jagya and are then escorted out riding on palanquins as they return to their permanent home of the husband. The thirteenth step beings once they enter the jagya of the groom and his virgin sisters welcome the wife in a ceremony called arti syäl. They unveil the bride and adorn her with flower garlands and sprinkle puffed rice on her (a sign of prosperity). The fourteenth step is completed once the bride promises gifts to the sisters; she then moves on the fifteenth step where she steps on piles of rice in a path toward the kitchen. The final step is a series of rites, the first of which is the bride worshiping the ancestors and deities of the husband; she then demonstrates her skills in handling rice to the husband's mother and sisters and then they entwine her hair. Finally, the mother unveils the bride again in front of the husband and in a ceremony called khutta dhog, the bride places the foot of the mother on her forehead thereby ending the marriage ceremony.

Wedding and Married Life in Hinduism

While there are many rituals in Hinduism, such as those at birth and passing away of loved ones, the Hindu wedding is the most important and extensive personal ritual an adult Hindu undertakes in his or her life. Typical Hindu families spend significant effort and financial resources to prepare and celebrate weddings.

In 2008, Indian weddings market was estimated to be $31 billion a year. Various sources estimate India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, and over 80% of these are Hindu weddings. The average expenditures exceed US$3,000 per wedding. Another $30 billion per year is spent on jewelry in India, with jewelry for weddings being the predominant market. In a nation with per capita annual income of $1,500, weddings are a major financial commitment for the typical Hindu family.

In India, where most Hindus live, the laws relating to marriage differ by religion. According to the Hindu Marriage Act of 1955, passed by the Parliament of India, for all legal purposes, all Hindus of any caste, creed or sect, Sikh, Buddhists and Jains are deemed Hindus and can intermarry. By the Special Marriage Act, 1954, a Hindu can marry a person who is not Hindu, employing any ceremony, provided specified legal conditions are fulfilled. By Section 7 of Hindu Marriage Act, and tradition, no Hindu marriage is binding and complete before the seventh step of the Saptapadi ritual in presence of fire, by the bride and the groom together. In some cases, such as South Indian Hindu marriages, this is not required.

A Vedic sage emphasized that the basis of happy and fulfilling married life is the sense of unity, intimacy and love between husband and wife both physically, mentally and spiritually. Hence wife is considered to be the Ardhangani of husband as per Hindu tradition. Marriage is not for self-indulgence, but is considered a lifelong social and spiritual responsibility. Married life is considered an opportunity for two people to grow as life partners into soul mates.