"Crime Aid" is the fifth episode of the fifth season of the television series The Office, and the show's seventy-seventh episode overall. The episode aired in the United States on October 23, 2008 on NBC.
In this episode, Michael and Holly allow the office to be robbed after having sex in the office twice and forgetting to lock the door, so Michael organizes an auction to raise money. Meanwhile, Dwight insists that Angela make a decision between him and Andy.
Pam (Jenna Fischer) finds that living in New York has become too expensive. Michael (Steve Carell) helps her by getting her a job at the Dunder Mifflin corporate office.
It is revealed that Michael and Holly (Amy Ryan) are dating. One night, the two have sex in the stairwell in the office building and forget to lock the building door. As a result, thieves break into the building and the Dunder Mifflin office and steal the computers and various other belongings. Realizing the robbery was their fault, Michael and Holly decide to set up an auction in the warehouse to raise money to match the value of items stolen.
Michael allows all the staff to auction off any item they choose. Holly decides to auction off a yoga lesson, which Michael is the only one to place a bid for, and Phyllis decides to auction off a hug. Darryl (Craig Robinson) auctions off an opportunity for someone to join him and the rest of the warehouse workers at a bar for beers at that exact moment. Michael tries to make a bid, but Darryl denies his bid, saying it would be a "conflict of interest". Jim makes a bid, which Darryl immediately accepts, and they leave. The auction seems to be a complete failure until CFO David Wallace (Andy Buckley) arrives to help raise money by auctioning off a weekend at his place in Martha's Vineyard.
Meanwhile, Angela (Angela Kinsey) and Andy (Ed Helms) have set a date for their wedding, which upsets Dwight (Rainn Wilson). Phyllis (Phyllis Smith), knowing Dwight's connection with Angela, attempts to console him. She suggests that he give Angela an ultimatum: call off the wedding or lose out on him. Angela ultimately says no to Dwight, so he asks Phyllis for more advice. Phyllis tells him that since she rejected him and his ultimatum that he should move on. Dwight becomes bitter towards Phyllis, but later realizes she was trying to help, so he shows his appreciation by bidding for her hug auction, which he loses to her husband Bob Vance (Robert R. Shafer). The hug sells for $1,000, after Bob outbids Andy, David Wallace and Dwight.
At the bar, Jim encounters Pam's ex Roy (David Denman), who joins him and the warehouse workers for some beers. Jim reveals to Roy that he is engaged to Pam, which Roy congratulates him on, and also mentions that Pam is at art school in New York. He tells Roy about the night before which she spent with friends, out until 8:00 AM, to which Roy responds "Well, you were a friend", visibly bothering Jim. Jim then decides to drive to New York to check up on Pam, but just before he gets on I-80 to get to New York City, turns around because "I am not that guy and we are not that couple."
The most anticipated item at the auction is a pair of front row Bruce Springsteen tickets from Michael. When it comes time to open the bid for them, Michael claims he cannot find them and tells everyone that they were stolen. At the end of the episode, Michael tells Holly that he lied about the tickets being stolen and about the tickets in general, though Holly already figured he did not have them. They kiss, catching the eye of a visibly displeased David Wallace, who when asked by the camera crew, admits he was unaware that Michael and Holly were romantically involved.
"Crime Aid" was voted the tenth highest-rated episode out of 26 from the fifth season, according to an episode poll at the fansite OfficeTally; the episode was rated 8.35 out of 10. After the initial airing of the show, there was a flood of attempted creations of the Wikipedia entry Office Robbery Statistics, because of Michael's line "It is not known how many office robberies occur every second, because there is no Wikipedia entry for Office Robbery Statistics". Eventually, Office Robbery Statistics was redirected to this page, to prevent further attempted creations.
For his work on this episode, Charlie Grandy was nominated for a Writers Guild of America Award for Best Screenplay – Episodic Comedy.