"Burlington Bertie" is a music hall song composed by Harry B. Norris in 1900 and sung by Vesta Tilley. It concerns an aristocratic young idler who pursues a life of leisure in the West End of London. Burlington is an upmarket London shopping area associated with luxury goods.
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This song was parodied in the now-much-better-known "Burlington Bertie from Bow" (1915) credited to William Hargreaves and sung by his wife, Ella Shields, who performed the song whilst dressed in male attire as the sort of character known as a 'broken down swell'. Unlike the original song, Bertie's pretensions to gentility are belied by his residence in Bow, in the poverty-stricken East End of London, though his status as an idler ironically links him to the leisured aristocratic class, who reside in the West End.
Betty Grable in the part of vaudevillian Myrtle McKinley Burt performed the song in the musical film Mother Wore Tights (1947).
Julie Andrews, also dressed in male attire, gave another rendition of the song in the film Star! (1968).
It was sung on episode 201 of The Muppet Show by a custom Bertie Muppet performed by Jerry Nelson.
It was referenced in the song "My Town" by the Canadian band Glass Tiger.
At the Royal Variety Performance in 1981, it was performed in the customary male evening dress by Anita Harris, who brought the house down with the line "I've just had a banana with Lady Diana" from the Buckingham Palace verse of the song. Although the Diana in the original version was probably Lady Diana Cooper, Prince Charles had married Lady Diana Spencer earlier in the year.
The two songs about Burlington Bertie are both predecessors of Irving Berlin's song "A Couple of Swells". In all three songs, a woman dressed in a ragged form of male finery brags about how well connected in society "he" is, while clearly demonstrating an actual state of poverty.
Gambling terminology
In gambling terminology, or Tic-tac, "Burlington Bertie" is rhyming slang for the fractional odds of 10/3, which is normally referred to as "one hundred to thirty".
Recordings
A CD transfer recording of "Burlington Bertie from Bow" performed by Ella Shields is available from Windyridge.
Lyrics of "Burlington Bertie"
Written and composed by Harry B. Norris
I'm Bert P'raps you've heard of me Bert You've had word of me, Jogging along Hearty and strong Living on plates of fresh air I dress up in fashion And when I am feeling depressed I shave from my cuff all the whiskers and fluff Stick my hat on and toddle up West I'm Burlington Bertie I rise at ten-thirty and saunter along like a toff I walk down the Strand with my gloves on my hand Then I walk down again with them off I'm all airs and graces, correct easy paces Without food so long, I've forgot where my face is I'm Bert, Bert, I haven't a shirt But my people are well off you know. Nearly everyone knows me from Smith to Lord Rosebr'y, I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow. I stroll With Lord Hurlington, Roll In The Burlington Call for Champagne Walk out again Come back and borrow the ink I live most expensive Like Tom Lipton I'm in the swim He's got so much 'oof' that he sleeps on the roof And I live in the room over him. I'm Burlington Bertie I rise at ten thirty And saunter along Temple Bar As round there I skip I keep shouting "Pip Pip!" And the darn'd fools think I'm in my car At Rothschild's I swank it My body I plank it On his front door step with The Mail for a blanket I'm Bert, Bert, and Rothschild was hurt He said "You can't sleep there" I said "Oh" He said "I'm Rothschild, sonny!" I said "That's damn'd funny, I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow" I smile Condescendingly While they're extending me Cheer upon cheer When I appear Captain with my polo team So strict are my people They're William the Conqueror's strain If they ever knew I'd been talking to you Why they'd never look at me again I'm Burlington Bertie I rise at ten thirty And reach Kempton Park around three I stand by the rail, when a horse is for sale And you ought to see Wooton watch me I lean on some awning while Lord Derby's yawning Then he bids two thousand and I bid "Good Morning I'm Bert, Bert, I'd buy one, a Cert But where would I keep it you know I can't let my man see me in bed with a gee-gee I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow! My pose, Tho' ironical Shows That my monocle Holds up my face, keeps it in place, Stops it from slipping away. Cigars, cigars,haha I smoke thousands, I usually deal in The Strand But you have to take care when you're getting them there Or some idiot might step on your hand. I'm Burlington Bertie I rise at ten thirty Then Buckingham Palace I view. I stand in the yard while they're changing the guard And the King shouts across "Toodle oo"! The Prince of Wales' brother along with some other Slaps me on the back and says "Come and see Mother" I'm Bert, Bert, and royalty's hurt, When they ask me to dine I say no. I've just had a banana with Lady Diana I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow.