"Burlington Bertie" is a music hall song composed by Harry B. Norris in 1900 and sung by Vesta Tilley. It concerns an aristocratic young idler who pursues a life of leisure in the West End of London. Burlington is an upmarket London shopping area associated with luxury goods.
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This song was parodied in the now-much-better-known "Burlington Bertie from Bow" (1915) credited to William Hargreaves and sung by his wife, Ella Shields, who performed the song whilst dressed in male attire as the sort of character known as a 'broken down swell'. Unlike the original song, Bertie's pretensions to gentility are belied by his residence in Bow, in the poverty-stricken East End of London, though his status as an idler ironically links him to the leisured aristocratic class, who reside in the West End.
Betty Grable in the part of vaudevillian Myrtle McKinley Burt performed the song in the musical film Mother Wore Tights (1947).
Julie Andrews, also dressed in male attire, gave another rendition of the song in the film Star! (1968).
It was sung on episode 201 of The Muppet Show by a custom Bertie Muppet performed by Jerry Nelson.
It was referenced in the song "My Town" by the Canadian band Glass Tiger.
At the Royal Variety Performance in 1981, it was performed in the customary male evening dress by Anita Harris, who brought the house down with the line "I've just had a banana with Lady Diana" from the Buckingham Palace verse of the song. Although the Diana in the original version was probably Lady Diana Cooper, Prince Charles had married Lady Diana Spencer earlier in the year.
The two songs about Burlington Bertie are both predecessors of Irving Berlin's song "A Couple of Swells". In all three songs, a woman dressed in a ragged form of male finery brags about how well connected in society "he" is, while clearly demonstrating an actual state of poverty.
Gambling terminology
In gambling terminology, or Tic-tac, "Burlington Bertie" is rhyming slang for the fractional odds of 10/3, which is normally referred to as "one hundred to thirty".
Recordings
A CD transfer recording of "Burlington Bertie from Bow" performed by Ella Shields is available from Windyridge.
Lyrics of "Burlington Bertie"
Written and composed by Harry B. Norris
I'm BertP'raps you've heard of meBertYou've had word of me,Jogging alongHearty and strongLiving on plates of fresh airI dress up in fashionAnd when I am feeling depressedI shave from my cuff all the whiskers and fluffStick my hat on and toddle up WestI'm Burlington Bertie I rise at ten-thirtyand saunter along like a toffI walk down the Strand with my gloves on my handThen I walk down again with them offI'm all airs and graces, correct easy pacesWithout food so long, I've forgot where my face isI'm Bert, Bert, I haven't a shirtBut my people are well off you know.Nearly everyone knows me from Smith to Lord Rosebr'y,I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow.I strollWith Lord Hurlington,RollIn The BurlingtonCall for ChampagneWalk out againCome back and borrow the inkI live most expensiveLike Tom Lipton I'm in the swimHe's got so much 'oof' that he sleeps on the roofAnd I live in the room over him.I'm Burlington Bertie I rise at ten thirtyAnd saunter along Temple BarAs round there I skipI keep shouting "Pip Pip!"And the darn'd fools think I'm in my carAt Rothschild's I swank itMy body I plank itOn his front door step with The Mail for a blanketI'm Bert, Bert, and Rothschild was hurtHe said "You can't sleep there" I said "Oh"He said "I'm Rothschild, sonny!" I said "That's damn'd funny,I'm Burlington Bertie from Bow"I smileCondescendinglyWhile they're extending meCheer upon cheerWhen I appearCaptain with my polo teamSo strict are my peopleThey're William the Conqueror's strainIf they ever knew I'd been talking to youWhy they'd never look at me againI'm Burlington Bertie I rise at ten thirtyAnd reach Kempton Park around threeI stand by the rail, when a horse is for saleAnd you ought to see Wooton watch meI lean on some awning while Lord Derby's yawningThen he bids two thousand and I bid "Good MorningI'm Bert, Bert, I'd buy one, a CertBut where would I keep it you knowI can't let my man see me in bed with a gee-geeI'm Burlington Bertie from Bow!My pose,Tho' ironicalShowsThat my monocleHolds up my face, keeps it in place,Stops it from slipping away.Cigars, cigars,hahaI smoke thousands,I usually deal in The StrandBut you have to take care when you're getting them thereOr some idiot might step on your hand.I'm Burlington Bertie I rise at ten thirtyThen Buckingham Palace I view.I stand in the yard while they're changing the guardAnd the King shouts across "Toodle oo"!The Prince of Wales' brother along with some otherSlaps me on the back and says "Come and see Mother"I'm Bert, Bert, and royalty's hurt,When they ask me to dine I say no.I've just had a banana with Lady DianaI'm Burlington Bertie from Bow.