As Fast as She Can

Plot

Picking up from the previous episode, Ted turns to see Stella behind him at a crosswalk. She is quickly joined by her fiancé (and father of her daughter), Tony. Ted says that it's a great surprise to see them, and later at MacLaren's, Barney and Marshall praise his cool. Later that evening, Tony shows up at Ted's apartment, professing pity for Ted's condition, despite Ted denying any depression on his part. He explains that his family is rich and wants to make it up to Ted.

First he offers him a professor position at Columbia, which Ted turns down, as it is a last resort in the field of architecture. Then, Tony brings Ted to a rich friend's house for dinner to offer Ted a job designing a new home. When the host starts insisting that his "laundry" room be soundproof, lined with stain-proof ceramic tiles, and filled with hanging chains, Ted quickly realizes the man is proposing the design of a "murder house."

Eventually, Ted rejects Tony's help, claiming he's glad to be rid of Stella, who left him at the altar. The comment makes Tony reconsider his commitment to Stella, and he breaks off the engagement. Stella shows up at Ted's apartment distraught, begging him to help her salvage their relationship. Ted refuses, claiming Stella hurt him and his ability to appreciate love.

Meanwhile, Barney complains about a speeding ticket he receives. Marshall brags about how he evaded a ticket back in Minnesota by enticing the officer with the offer of bratwurst at a BBQ. Barney takes this as a challenge, and vows to talk his way out of a ticket, and speeds every time he is driving. After a few failures, he continues complaining, and Robin tells the story of how she cried her way out of a ticket.

Finally, he encounters an attractive police officer. In the retelling of the story, Barney claims he promptly seduced the policewoman, but he was actually arrested for numerous moving violations. Barney calls Ted (who is in the middle of his argument with Stella) from jail in Brazzaville, NJ, desperate to be bailed out (even though he is only in the cell with two teenage vandals). Stella offers to drive Ted to New Jersey, and the two bail Barney out and drive him back to the city. Before he exits the car, Ted admits that he is tired of searching for love, and hopes to find what she and Tony have. Stella tells Ted a story of how she once talked her way out of a speeding ticket: When the officer said "Young lady, I've been waiting for you all day", she replied with "I'm sorry, officer, I got here as fast as I could." She admits the story was just an old joke and tells Ted the woman meant for him is coming "as fast as she can." Ted agrees to talk to Tony and the couple get back together.

Future Ted then talks about how Stella established a new, successful dermatological practice on the West Coast, and Tony became a successful screenwriter, with a hit in May 2010 called The Wedding Bride.

Finally, at the bar, Lily returns, admitting the offensive joke Barney told her four weeks ago was actually funny, but once he starts explaining a scheme involving seducing amnesia patients, she promptly leaves again.

Critical response

Donna Bowman of The A.V. Club gave the episode an A− rating.