"Right Said Fred" is a novelty song written by Ted Dicks, and Myles Rudge, famously recorded as a single by Bernard Cribbins in 1962. It reached number 10 in the UK Singles Chart. It is about three men (the narrator, "Fred", and "Charlie") working as manual labourers who are trying to move an unidentified object (although it is clarified that it has feet, a seat, handles and candleholders) in a building without success, eventually failing and giving up after having dismantled said object, part-demolished the building (including removing a door, wall and the ceiling) and taking numerous tea breaks. The lyrics do not specify whether Fred recovers from "half a ton of rubble falling on his dome" prior to the others having a final teabreak and going home.
Ted Dicks said that he was inspired to write the song by incidents that took place when he employed men to move a grand piano he had bought. Cribbins recorded it at the Abbey Road Studios, and sound effects were added by the producer George Martin, who would later become famous for his work with the Beatles.
The song was also recorded by Tommy Quickly produced by Brian Epstein and backed by Ian Whitcomb, Jimmy Page and the Blue Flames.
The British band Right Said Fred is named after the song.