My Old Man song is a football song sung by fans of English and Northern Irish Association football clubs. It was first used by Aston Villa fans and continues to be used, to the extent that many teams have copied the Villa fans chant, along with their 'It's your round chant' which celebrates the iconic ex player Paul McGrath. Usage has declined in recent years as the aspects of hooliganism it depicts has also decreased. It is sung to the melody of the song "Don't Dilly Dally (My Old Man Said Follow The Van)", popularised by Marie Lloyd. Different versions of the song are sung by different sets of fans.
Example:
My old man said be a (own club name) fan (Hiya mate) And don't dilly dally on the way". We took the (rival club ground) in half a minute, We took (other rival football team) and all that's in it With hatchets and hammers, Stanley knives and spanners we'll show the bastards how to fight If you can't beat a (main rival nickname) then you're not a (own club name) fan ALL TOGETHER NOW!An example of this for Linfield Football Club
My old man said be a Linfield fan And don't dilly dally on the way". We took The Oval in half a minute, We took Coleraine and all that's in it With hatchets and hammers, Stanley knives and spanners we'll show the bastards how to fight If you can't beat a Glenman in a half a minute then you're not a Linfield fan ALL TOGETHER NOW!The shorter version:
My old man said be a <rival team> fan,
I said "Fuck off, bollocks, you're a cunt!"
The alternative shorter version:
My old man said be a <rival team> fan,
I said "Fuck off, bollocks, you're a cunt! Have a banana"
Alternate (clean) version:
My old man said be a <rival team> Fan,
I said "No, I reject that proposal!"