Daffy Dilly

Plot

Daffy Duck is a novelty gag salesman operating on the sidewalk of a large city, selling things like flower squirters, a Joe Miller joke book, a rib-tickler, a chicken inspector badge and a 200-volt electric hand buzzer, inadvertently demonstrating the latter on himself ("It's... shocking..."). However, he fails to sell anything to anyone. But after hearing a radio report declaring that the mirthless buzz-saw tycoon J.P. Cubish is offering a one-million-dollar reward to anyone who can make him laugh (which he reportedly hasn't done for 50 years) before he passes on, Daffy promptly sets off for the millionaire's home with dollar signs in his eyes.

Upon arriving at Cubish's mansion, Daffy finds that the butler (whom Daffy refers to as "Jeeves", "Ruggles", "Meadows", and other commonly used servant names) is not willing to let him in. Daffy tries several ways to get inside (scaling the wall with a grappling hook, swinging in through the window on a rope, etc.), all of which end in failure (in one case, removing the butler's dentures in the process). Daffy finally sneaks into the house by hiding in a package designed to look like a bottle of champagne (which the butler tries to keep for himself). Daffy runs for his life as the butler tries to kill him with an axe and the duck tries to escape via a dumb waiter. Daffy narrowly avoids a cannon blast which destroys the dumb waiter and climbs further, only to confront the butler ("Whoops. How are things in Glocca Morra?").

As the butler swears he'll get rid of Daffy permanently, the wily duck starts interrogating the butler à la Humphrey Bogart ("Not so fast, my man, Godfrey! It becomes increasingly apparent that I'm not wanted around here!"), accusing him of not wanting Cubish to return to his good health ("Are we to assume that there is anything significant in this attitude of yours? That A: A butler might not want his master to recover his good health? That B: Said butler should endeavor to remove from the premises the only person capable of restoring said health, to said master?!"). The butler is astounded, but Daffy keeps going, now accusing the butler of attempted murder within a story Daffy invents on the spot ("Where were you, the night of April the 16th? A likely story! I see it all now. You and the upstairs maid! 'Do the old boy in', you said! 'Elderberry wine and old lace', you said! 'Then, the quick getaway', you said! Rio de Janeiro, tropical nights, romance and a heavy bank account! But you weren't smart enough John, alias Johnny, alias Jack, alias Jackie!"), eventually asiding to the audience, "What's Humphrey Bogart got that I ain't got?" Having frightened the butler into incoherence, Daffy tricks him into fleeing the house in a disguise, so as not to be arrested ("But just to show you I'm not all copper, I'm gonna give you a ten-minute head start. Don't try to thank me now, get going! Hurry, they're on your trail! Run, out this way! AAAHHH! And stay on the straight-and-narrow.").

At last, Daffy makes it to Cubish's bedroom, but before he can even unpack his novelty items, he slips and falls on a tray of food, covering himself in cake. To Daffy's bemused resentment ("What's the matter? You see anything green? Any flies on me?!"), Cubish finds this sight hilarious and laughs uproariously. In the end, Cubish keeps Daffy on hand as his personal jester, merrily throwing pies at the duck's face while he stands against a target. "It's a living," Daffy mutters to the audience.