Boy Erased: A Memoir

Synopsis

The only child of a car salesman and soon-to-be Baptist pastor, Conley was "terrified and conflicted about his sexuality." At nineteen, while in college, he was outed as gay to his parents and given the choice of being disowned or being subjected to gay conversion therapy that promised to cure his homosexuality. The timing came as his father was about to be ordained as a Baptist minister. Conley was enrolled in a Love in Action ex-gay program, and recounts the harm he was subjected to there in the name of curing his sexuality. The Bay Area Reporter noted, "Conley's memoir oscillates between his revelations, good and bad, during time spent in the fold of the ex-gay ministry during his two-week stint in the 'Source' trial program, and his personal and familial history [that led up to] induction in the program." He recounts the months of counseling he underwent followed by a two-week intensive intervention. He also includes other participants' accounts and a "Timeline of the Ex-Gay Movement". Conley's hope is that his story will expose ex-gay groups and gay conversion therapy programs as lacking in compassion and more likely to cause harm than cure anything, especially when participants are told, as he was, that they are "unfixable and disgusting over and over again."

Background

Conley's writings have appeared in The Common, The Madison Review, and The Virginia Quarterly Review. He now teaches English literature and works in advancing LGBTQ equality in Sofia, Bulgaria.

Gay conversion therapy has grown increasingly controversial in the late 20th century as mainstream health and medical groups have rejected the underlying assumptions that LGBTQ people need to or can change their sexuality. Medical, scientific, and government organizations in the United States and Britain have expressed concern over conversion therapy and consider it potentially harmful. As of the publishing of Boy Erased: A Memoir in May 2016, use of conversion therapy on minors is banned in "only a small handful of states," Vermont, California, New Jersey, Illinois, and Oregon, as well as the District of Columbia.

Reception

Edge Media Network noted "Testimonies like 'Boy Erased' are a necessary part of getting rid of ex-gay ministries or, really, any kind of program in which the explicit aim is to change the identity (in this case, the sexuality) of the subjects." The Washington Post reviewer wrote: "It’s a powerful convergence of events that Conley portrays eloquently, if a bit earnestly. Conley was full of confusing contradictions — as deeply embedded in the teachings of the Bible as he was in the prose of great literature." Michigan Quarterly Review states, "It’s in part Conley’s deft hand with prose, in part his ability to transcend trauma to render an honest, visceral picture of himself." GLBT Reviews noted, "Conley had much to confront as he inwardly acknowledged his homosexuality, including layers upon layers of family complexity, but as he unspools his eventful journey, he brings readers deep into his mind and soul for a satisfying ride." Kirkus Reviews wrote, "Readers follow Conley through a very difficult process of self-identification that sheds light on the degrees of intolerance that are still present in today’s world. At times, the text feels a bit passive; some readers may expect more blatant outrage. Nevertheless, Conley has chosen to expose ex-gay therapy as abusive, and that is important." GLBT Publisher's Weekly stated, "This timely addition to the debate on conversion therapy will build sympathy for both children and parents who avail themselves of it while still showing how damaging it can be." Out Smart Magazine stated, "Boy Erased digs deep into a life lived in shadow, the story of a survivor and not of the establishment (which have largely been the voices heard speaking out about ex-gay therapy)." The reviewer for Bay Area Reporter called it "[w]ell-written, compelling, disturbing, and ultimately quite bracing, ... an important, refreshingly unsentimental perspective on the dangers and abuses of ex-gay therapy ministries, an atrocious, damaging, hypocritical network that still operates today."