Are Ye Right There Michael is a song by the 19th-century and early 20th-century Irish composer and musician Percy French, parodying the state of the West Clare Railway system in rural County Clare. Because of a slow train and the decision of the driver to stop for no apparent reason, French, though having left Sligo in the early morning, arrived so late for an 8pm recital that the audience had left. The ballad caused considerable embarrassment for the rail company, which was mocked in music halls throughout Ireland and Britain because of the song. It led to an unsuccessful libel action against French.
It is said that when French arrived late for the libel hearing, the judge chided him on his lateness. French reportedly responded "Your honour, I traveled by the West Clare Railway", resulting in the case being thrown out.
Lyrics
Are Ye Right There Michael by Percy French (1902) You may talk of Columbus's sailing Across the Atlantical Sea But he never tried to go railing From Ennis as far as Kilkee You run for the train in the morning The excursion train starting at eight You're there when the clock gives the warnin' And there for an hour you'll wait And as you're waiting in the train You'll hear the guard sing this refrain: Are ye right there, Michael, are ye right? Do you think that we'll be there before the night? Ye've been so long in startin' That ye couldn't say for certain Still ye might now, Michael So ye might! They find out where the engine's been hiding And it drags you to sweet Corofin Says the guard: "Back her down on the siding There's a goods from Kilrush coming in." Perhaps it comes in two hours Perhaps it breaks down on the way "If it does," says the guard, "by the powers We're here for the rest of the day!" And while you sit and curse your luck The train backs down into a truck. Are ye right there, Michael, are ye right? Have ye got the parcel there for Mrs White? Ye haven't, oh begorra Say it's comin' down tomorra And well it might now, Michael So it might At Lahinch the sea shines like a jewel With joy you are ready to shout When the stoker cries out: "There's no fuel And the fire's tee-totally out! But hand up that bit of a log there I'll soon have ye out of the fix There's fine clamp of turf in the bog there And the rest go a-gatherin' sticks." And while you're breakin' bits of trees You hear some wise remarks like these: "Are ye right there, Michael? Are ye right? Do ye think that you can get the fire to light? Oh, an hour you'll require For the turf it might be drier Well it might now, Michael So it might."A popular sung version by Brendan O'Dowda adds the following lyrics which may or may not have been part of the original:
Kilkee! Oh you never get near it! You're in luck if the train brings you back For the permanent way is so queer It spends most of its time off the track. Uphill the old engine is climbin' While the passengers push with a will You're in luck when you reach Ennistymon For all the way home is downhill. And as you're wobblin' through the dark you hear the guard make this remark: "Are you right there, Michael, are ye right? Do you think that you'll be home before it's light?" "Tis all dependin' whether The old engine holds together— And it might now, Michael, so it might! (so it might), And it might, now, Michael, so it might."